Why we need to learn how to say no
If we are honest to ourselves, saying YES is far more comfortable than saying NO to someone. In this blog post, I want to introduce you to the concept of saying NO, why we need to train this as a muscle, why it is especially essential for expats, and how saying NO can improve your personal quest for happiness.
Why we shy away from saying NO
As humans, we tend to struggle with saying NO to requests from others, and it seems like we never really learned how to do so. However, it is quite essential to find the right balance of social egoism to support our families, friends, and colleagues. Let’s dive right into it in see why I say it is important in the first place: In my experience, there is a misconception of being egoistic. There is a clear difference between being an egocentric person who is using others to improve their own situation and a socially egoistic person who understood that he or she has to stay true to herself to be helpful and supportive to others. It’s similar to the safety instruction in airplanes, where adults are advised to put on the oxygen mask first before helping others. We need a strong foundation of self-confidence to be resilient and resourceful. The moment we start to say Yes to something that is against our own core values, we are cheating on our self-esteem. The lower our self-esteem gets, the weaker we get in defending what feels good to ourselves, basically cheating on our very own goals for life.
Why this concept is vital for expats
I find the idea of saying NO extremely important to expats and the partners joining the international assignment. Our own voice that speaks for our very own interests can be very soft, while the voices of the husband, wife, children, boss, and colleagues can be very loud, overshadowing our individual needs. At the same time, expats are often put in front of big decisions such as moving countries, changing school systems, adapting to a new culture. We are holding on to become flexible in our viewpoints. Coaches like me tell us to step into a growth mindset taking on new challenges with a smile rather than resentment. The company is expecting a quick yes to the assignment, often letting you figure out all the details attached later on. Your husband might want you to join in with excitement about this potential promotion rather than hesitation, and your kids remind you about their own vital needs constantly consuming you as a mother. In those turbulent times, it can be very tempting to say YES right away. Saying yes to the assignment showing the world how forward-thinking and easy-going you are. Saying YES to quit your job as you are confident, there will be something along the way waiting for you. Saying YES to moving rather sooner than later because it just seems necessary.
Should I move or should I stay?
This is the exact moment where it is important that we have trained our muscle to say NO when it is required. Saying yes is way easier than saying No as it is socially acceptable. We fear that we seem heartless and egoistic if we are not on board right away. We tend to urge for the acknowledgment we get from others when saying yes, and we fear the potential conflict that could arise when saying No to something.
However, a YES to an essential decision such as international assignments is only valuable when we really mean it. Thus we need to be selfish for a second, really focusing on us as a person first before thinking of all the people around us. Take your mind back to the airplane situation and put on your oxygen mask first to allow yourself to think. A firm YES based on your reflection and honest review of options is far more worthy than a rushed YES without being aware of the consequences.
My colleague Katia Vlachos has written a fabulous book called „A great move“ where she prepares potential expats for the international assignment. In great detail, she is stressing how important it is to reflect as a person, as a couple, and as a family before taking on the assignment lighthearted. Don’t say yes because you think it is expected of you – say yes because you mean it and you are excited about it. Otherwise, a week YES might lead to frustration, marriage struggles, and potentially to a colossal identity struggle.
Also, keep in mind that moving abroad brings along an enormous learning curve. Hence it is absolutely ok to reassess your YES from time to time. Check in with your partner – is he or she still on board? Does the yes still feel right? Most of the time, the answer will stay yes, but it is a great relief to know that changing your mind is absolutely an option and always up for discussion.
Train saying NO in your daily life
If you are struggling with saying NO to others, try to use day-to-day situations to train this muscle. Prioritizing ourselves gets easier when we learn to do so in our daily lives. A personal example of mine:
In some supermarkets in the US, you get a tiny discount for bringing along your own bag. The cashier often asks whether the customer wants to donate the 7 cents to a community project. In the beginning, I never wanted to say no as it might seem egoistic, and I also want to support the local community. However, saying NO from time to time to this helped me to understand that nothing happens when you do not fear the conflict. There is no allegation in the face of the other, no further discussion but a simple „alright.“
We come across many small daily situations like these that allow us to strengthen our muscle of saying NO without hurting someone else or creating a huge conflict. Use those situations and reflect on how it feels!
When the time comes, and you are thinking about making a move, I hope you say YES. However, it has to be a well-intended, strong YES to make it work and to enjoy this exciting time. When in doubt, be generous to yourself. Allow yourself to take the time to reflect and always keep the NO as a vital response if necessary. Not every country might suit you, and not every moment in life seems right for it.
I hope you found this post helpful in your personal preparation! Let me know in the comments below or send me a direct message to info@sharethelove.blog. If you do not want to miss out on future posts, follow me on social media (Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook) or sign-up for the Share-the-Love Newsletter and get access to a vast number of free expat related resources.
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38 Antworten
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I want to give thanks today, not just for the lottery win that changed my life, but for the man God used to guide me, ( Chief Ade ). At a time when I was confused, worried, and almost losing hope, Chief Ade spoke words of wisdom and encouragement into my life. He didn’t only promise me riches, but he reminded me to stay hopeful, to act with faith, and to never give up on myself. When I eventually decided to try the lottery, I did so with a different mindset, one of calmness and belief, not desperation. And with the help of Chief Ade, I won the $18,000,000 dollars. It still feels like a dream. Chief Ade, I am deeply grateful. Your guidance helped me see possibilities again when I could only see problems. This victory is not just mine, it is a testimony of your kindness and the power of wise counsel. Thank you for being a light in my darkest moment, I will never forget what you’ve done for me . Email: chiefadespellhome@ gmail.com or WhatsApp +234 901 380 6328 .
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I want to give thanks today, not just for the lottery win that changed my life, but for the man God used to guide me, ( Chief Ade ). At a time when I was confused, worried, and almost losing hope, Chief Ade spoke words of wisdom and encouragement into my life. He didn’t only promise me riches, but he reminded me to stay hopeful, to act with faith, and to never give up on myself. When I eventually decided to try the lottery, I did so with a different mindset, one of calmness and belief, not desperation. And with the help of Chief Ade, I won the $18,000,000 dollars. It still feels like a dream. Chief Ade, I am deeply grateful. Your guidance helped me see possibilities again when I could only see problems. This victory is not just mine, it is a testimony of your kindness and the power of wise counsel. Thank you for being a light in my darkest moment, I will never forget what you’ve done for me . Email: chiefadespellhome@gmail.com or WhatsApp +234 901 380 6328 .
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Praise be to the incredible Lord Meduza, I’ve never seen or heard of his lottery spell failing, not even once, and that includes my own experience. Every day, I feel renewed blessings after connecting with the Great Lord Meduza who gifted me my winning six-digit lottery numbers that won me $740,000,000 million dollars by using his magical skills to foresee the outcome. I’m a dad of four, and it’s been a few years since I lost my wife to cancer; I miss her terribly. To wrap things up, I really want to thank Great Meduza for being so good at what he does. His guidance and lessons were applied swiftly and precisely, leading us to the best possible result, which we definitely achieved. You can reach him by email: lordmeduzatemple@hotmail.com or check out his website at ( lordmeduzatemple.com ) for more information. May you stay blessed and know you’re in good hands with Lord Meduza.
My name is Helen Mathews, and I am filled with joy and gratitude as I share my incredible experience. For many years, I had dreams of changing my life and achieving financial freedom. When I was facing difficulties and had almost lost hope, I came across Chief Ade, who guided me with his spiritual support and wisdom. After following his advice and receiving his assistance/winning numbers, I was amazed when I won a $5 million prize that completely transformed my life. Today, I am able to support my family, fulfill my dreams, and help those around me. I want to express my deepest appreciation to Chief Ade for his kindness, guidance, and the confidence he gave me during my journey. This experience has brought me happiness and a new chapter in my life, and I am truly thankful. Email: chiefadespellhome@gmail.com || WhatsApp +234 901 380 6328
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My name is Helen Mathews, and I am filled with joy and gratitude as I share my incredible experience. For many years, I had dreams of changing my life and achieving financial freedom. When I was facing difficulties and had almost lost hope, I came across Chief Ade, who guided me with his spiritual support and wisdom. After following his advice and receiving his assistance/winning numbers, I was amazed when I won a $5 million prize that completely transformed my life. Today, I am able to support my family, fulfill my dreams, and help those around me. I want to express my deepest appreciation to Chief Ade for his kindness, guidance, and the confidence he gave me during my journey. This experience has brought me happiness and a new chapter in my life, and I am truly thankful. Email : chiefadespellhome@ gmail.com || WhatsApp +234 901 380 6328 .
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My name is Helen Mathews, and I am filled with joy and gratitude as I share my incredible experience. For many years, I had dreams of changing my life and achieving financial freedom. When I was facing difficulties and had almost lost hope, I came across Chief Ade, who guided me with his spiritual support and wisdom. After following his advice and receiving his assistance/winning numbers, I was amazed when I won a $5 million prize that completely transformed my life. Today, I am able to support my family, fulfill my dreams, and help those around me. I want to express my deepest appreciation to Chief Ade for his kindness, guidance, and the confidence he gave me during my journey. This experience has brought me happiness and a new chapter in my life, and I am truly thankful. Email : chiefadespellhome@ gmail.com || WhatsApp +234 901 380 6328
Honestly, I still can’t believe this is real. Dr. Excellent brought my husband back to me.. My name is Heather Delaney. I married the love of my life Riley on 10/02/15 and we now have two beautiful girls Abby & Erin, who are conjoined twins, that were born 07/24/16. My husband left me and moved to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr. Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, contact Dr. Excellent if you are passing through any difficulty in life or having troubles in your marriage or relationship, he is capable of making things right for you. Here his contact. Call/WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 „Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail. com
With my experience working with Dr Isikolo, i came to the conclusion there are very good and honest people out there who can truly do all they can to fix whatever problems you have even when they are not known to you visibly or see them in person. I lost my marriage for not being able to fully what it means to lead a woman right and accept the fact that they are wired in a way we men can never understand. I had to seek help from Dr Isikolo knowing my wife is a good woman whom i cant loose to anyone else. It was a tough situation for me though and too many things was revealed to me while he was helping me to fix the probleems and i got the effect of the result just after 48 hours as he assured me and i have my wife back home to me. Dr Isikolo is the best option you can choose to restore love and connection between you and your partner and get back them back to your lives and be happy together forever. You can call/text him via WhatsApp +234-8133261196 or click on his webpage and see more details about his good works: https://isikolo-temple.com
Ein persönlicher Erfahrungsbericht darüber, wie eine mächtige Expertin für Liebeszauber mir half, meinen Partner durch einen wirkungsvollen Zauber zurückzugewinnen und unsere Beziehung nach der Trennung wiederherzustellen.
Ich freue mich sehr, meine unglaubliche Erfahrung mit Tanya Debo zu teilen – einer mächtigen Expertin für Liebeszauber, die mir geholfen hat, wieder mit meinem Ehemann zusammenzukommen. Wir hatten mit zahlreichen Problemen zu kämpfen; unsere Ehe verschlechterte sich zusehends und führte schließlich zu einer schmerzhaften Trennung.
Doch dank der Anleitung von Frau Tanya Debo – auf die mich eine Freundin aufmerksam gemacht hatte – befolgte ich ihre Anweisungen genau. Erstaunlicherweise kehrte mein Mann innerhalb von nur 48 Stunden zu mir zurück! Ich bin ihr unendlich dankbar. Jedem, der Hilfe sucht, um den Partner zurückzugewinnen (etwa durch einen Liebeszauber), kann ich Tanya Debo wärmstens empfehlen; sie ist mächtig und vertrauenswürdig. Sie können sie per E-Mail unter info.debo.org@gmail.com oder telefonisch/via WhatsApp unter +2348101793937 erreichen.
Wenden Sie sich bei jeglichen Anliegen an sie; sie verfügt über große Kräfte und kann die folgenden Probleme mit einer Erfolgsgarantie von 100 % lösen:
Möchten Sie Ihren Ex-Partner zurück?
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Schutzzauber gegen Schusswaffen oder scharfe Gegenstände
Zauber zur Entfernung von Nebenbuhlern oder unerwünschten Einmischungen
Zauber, damit Ihr Ehemann Sie mehr wertschätzt
Zauber, um berühmt zu werden
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Zauber, um einen Job zu finden
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Tanya Debo, Sie sind die beste Online-Expertin für Liebeszauber, wenn es darum geht, Ex-Partner zurückzubringen und Beziehungen zu retten. Ich werde weiterhin von Ihrer großartigen und engagierten Arbeit berichten.
Ein persönlicher Erfahrungsbericht darüber, wie eine mächtige Expertin für Liebeszauber mir half, meinen Partner durch einen wirkungsvollen Zauber zurückzugewinnen und unsere Beziehung nach der Trennung wiederherzustellen.
Ich freue mich sehr, meine unglaubliche Erfahrung mit Tanya Debo zu teilen – einer mächtigen Expertin für Liebeszauber, die mir geholfen hat, wieder mit meinem Ehemann zusammenzukommen. Wir hatten mit zahlreichen Problemen zu kämpfen; unsere Ehe verschlechterte sich zusehends und führte schließlich zu einer schmerzhaften Trennung.
Doch dank der Anleitung von Frau Tanya Debo – auf die mich eine Freundin aufmerksam gemacht hatte – befolgte ich ihre Anweisungen genau. Erstaunlicherweise kehrte mein Mann innerhalb von nur 48 Stunden zu mir zurück! Ich bin ihr unendlich dankbar. Jedem, der Hilfe sucht, um den Partner zurückzugewinnen (etwa durch einen Liebeszauber), kann ich Tanya Debo wärmstens empfehlen; sie ist mächtig und vertrauenswürdig. Sie können sie per E-Mail unter info.debo.org@gmail.com oder telefonisch/via WhatsApp unter +2348101793937 erreichen.
Wenden Sie sich bei jeglichen Anliegen an sie; sie verfügt über große Kräfte und kann die folgenden Probleme mit einer Erfolgsgarantie von 100 % lösen:
Möchten Sie Ihren Ex-Partner zurück?
Zauber für eine Schwangerschaft
Schutzzauber gegen Schusswaffen oder scharfe Gegenstände
Zauber zur Entfernung von Nebenbuhlern oder unerwünschten Einmischungen
Zauber, damit Ihr Ehemann Sie mehr wertschätzt
Zauber, um berühmt zu werden
Zauber für massives geschäftliches Wachstum
Zauber, um einen Job zu finden
Zauber, um einen Ehemann zu finden
Zauber, um einen Gerichtsprozess zu gewinnen
Zauber, um einen geliebten Menschen aus dem Gefängnis zu befreien
Zauber für eine berufliche Beförderung
Schutzzauber
Zauber für einen Lotteriegewinn
Tanya Debo, Sie sind die beste Online-Expertin für Liebeszauber, wenn es darum geht, Ex-Partner zurückzubringen und Beziehungen zu retten. Ich werde weiterhin von Ihrer großartigen und engagierten Arbeit berichten.
…/…//..//./
My name is Helen Mathews, and I am filled with joy and gratitude as I share my incredible experience. For many years, I had dreams of changing my life and achieving financial freedom. When I was facing difficulties and had almost lost hope, I came across Chief Ade, who guided me with his spiritual support and wisdom. After following his advice and receiving his assistance/winning numbers, I was amazed when I won a $5 million prize that completely transformed my life. Today, I am able to support my family, fulfill my dreams, and help those around me. I want to express my deepest appreciation to Chief Ade for his kindness, guidance, and the confidence he gave me during my journey. This experience has brought me happiness and a new chapter in my life, and I am truly thankful. Email : chiefadespellhome@ gmail.com || Whats App +234 901 380 6328 .
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I’m wishing good fortune to everyone who comes across this comment! I went bankrupt last year due to failed business ideas. I used to enjoy playing the lottery for fun but as my situation worsened financially, I sought help to win big this time and found a man called MEDUZA, who has assisted numerous individuals worldwide with their financial issues. This man prepared a powerful spell for me that enabled him to get the secrete lucky numbers for me, I played the game with the numbers and to my astonishment, I discovered that I had won $259 million Jackpot after 2 weeks just has he said. Today, I’m now free of debt and I own different investments globally. Without Meduza, I wouldn’t have made it through the tough times I experienced last year. Truly, MEDUZA is a divine presence among us. If you are currently struggling in aspect of your life reach out to MEDUZA through the below information’s.
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